Saturday retrospective: I am kind of ANNOYED that the black community lacks unity
I’m posting my retrospective TODAY because tomorrow (Sunday, Nov. 1) is going to be a full day of Now and Then! So get your photos ready before and after relaxer photos ready!
Last weekend, I posted an interview with Aron Ranen, a documentary filmmaker who investigated how black people have virtually NO stake IN THEIR OWN HAIRCARE INDUSTRY. I also posted a retrospective asking if we should support black business. Most people seemed open to the idea, as long as black haircare operators’ prices were reasonable. But apparently, judging from some comments, many are not.
I also recently watched a YouTube video that’s been going around of a woman upset at what another women said on a natural hair blog/website. (I don’t know which website it is.) Apparently someone insinuated — without knowing this woman — that her daughter had suffered chemical burns because she had a relaxer. And the woman was offended by that. So she took her frustrations to YouTube. Many commenters empathized with the women because “naturals can be so negative.” etc, etc,
And TODAY, for some reason, I’m feeling really frustrated and distressed by all of this — by how we as a people think. Yeh, I said it. I said “WE” and “PEOPLE”. This is not a touchy feely retrospective, and I’m sorry for that. But I’m tired of the unnecessary conflict and disorganization that seems to plague our community.
I don’t just see it in the haircare world. In my day job, I report on courts and legal affairs, and I see it everyday. Black people who shoot, paralyze and/or kill other black people over…. small amounts of money, perceived “disrespect”, tantrums. Many a time I have gone back to my desk and wanted to title my story, “Black people are the LEAST strategic people in the world: the story of a race that loves to sabotage itself.”
And I haven’t been immune to this as a blogger. BGLH has been thrust into conflicts that I didn’t want or ask for.
But can we do better? I think we can! One of my favorite fellow bloggers, Sunshine, has an extremely optimistic view of what we can achieve if we inject a little bit more civility, strategy and love in how we relate to each other. And I have to say, I share her view.
I hope that this blog community — this BGLH community — becomes a place where we build some kind of a haircare industry or legacy for the naturals coming after us: our daughters and nieces and ‘little cousins’. And I want to partner with you all to support your budding enterprises. Let’s make a pact to put drama behind us and MOVE ON.
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BGLH now has a forum! Check it out HERE.
I think the natural community is one of the most positive forces (and the most drama-free) in the black community. BUT how can we become a more powerful people when there will ALWAYS be other things plaguing us–internalized racism, colorism, people not teaching their kids anything, the perpetual attitude of speaking proper english and getting an education is “acting white”, etc. i try to do my part and lead by example everyday, but sometimes it seems like too many people are willing to discount my achievements and/or make fun of them as if it’s bad to want to do better. yes, the communities problems are OUR problems, and i don’t want to turn my back on it–but sometimes i feel like my hands are tied behind my back.
I’m a little less frustrated by the lack of unity than you are. It’s not that I don’t find conflict and violence problematic; it’s simply that I have less expectations. There’s no reason for a race as diverse as ours to come together just because we’re all black. We all have different experiences, histories, and beliefs. Differences create tension. Obviously, tension should not lead to disrespect and violence–but tension is not a problem in itself. I agree that people should make more of an effort to be accepting and tolerant of the diversity, but I also believe it’s fair for people to call other people out and voice their own opinions even when it creates controversy.
When I disagree with someone’s conservative political views, I discuss it and openly disagree with them. When someone writes an article I find offensive, I’ll leave an angry response in the comment section…and I think that’s fine.
On the point of black on black violence–I don’t think that’s attributable to the same cause of conflicts related with hair and beliefs present in the blogosphere and in politics. Rather, it has much to do with poverty and institutionalized racism.
I mean, competing gangs don’t kill one another because the opposing gangs only wears perms.
)
Me? I like conflict. I like diversity. I like fighting. It gets humanity from Point A to Point B, which I think is important.
There has been a system put in place to uphold and maintain the detriment of Black people (the Original people) because it is know that our power and intellect would be limitless if these chains didn’t still bind us.
Once enough people have that understanding, the negativity will be over. We need to educate ourselves and reach beneath the surface for answers. Don’t blame your brothers and sisters..its not our fault.. And a lot of people don’t know any better. Another result of the grasp that the multi-armed machine has on the Black community and psyche.
revolution grl:
I particularly agree wit your comment, “i try to do my part and lead by example everyday, but sometimes it seems like too many people are willing to discount my achievements and/or make fun of them as if it’s bad to want to do better.”
I particularly related to this sentiment as a little girl. My cousins used to make fun of me and say, “Why you talk like a white girl?” I always felt disconnected from my family for this reason; they treated me like some sort of outcast (and when you’re 5, you just can’t help the way you talk…). This extended to the entire black community in high school, where I was made to feel uncool or like some sort of sell-out because of how I spoke and wrote. I liked the Beatles and Young Jeezy, but somehow people only paid attention to the stuff that made me separate from them.
And my hair. I have yet to have a white person tell me to “go get a perm.” But three of my uncles have. My grandma has. Anyway, all this has let to a serious feeling of alienation from the wider black community for me. I feel an extreme responsibility to my people, and I have a great concern for social justice and equality…but that’s more of a PERSON than as a BLACK PERSON. My since of kinship with other blacks has been severed by the ridicule.
That said; a white person will never relate to my hair issues or know what it’s like being black and being considered lesser. And I have so much issues with the state of most whites in America today (their ignorance to their privilege…and the ridiculously silly belief that race can just be ignored). Blacks are my family. We relate in a way that I can’t relate with any other race. But sometimes I am so frustrated.
Yeah, I posted that topic. I didn’t mean to upset anyone, it upset me too. I have seen ONE or TWO naturals that have said something out of line. But other than that, most naturals that follow online are not even thinking about relaxed hair women. I know several natural youtube channels that welcomes them but in the end they do natural hair styles, nor do they recommend relaxers.
@ Courtney
I agree, me being a conservative Christian (I don’t even wear pants!) when someone in my family says something progressive/socialist/liberal (whatever) I openly disagree. There is nothing wrong with that. I still love them. You have got to have thick skin in whatever you do. I think the woman went waaaaay overboard. But then again, I’ve seen a woman have a serious rant over how to pronounce caramel.
So…
0.o?
@ Courtney… I definitely thinks black people are diverse. I don’t expect us to have a “group think” mentality. But if you look at all the key indicators (wealth, health, life expectancy, AIDS infection) we, as a GROUP, are much more afflicted than others. And I think blacks, especially of higher socioeconomic classes, can kind of be in denial about that. I know I am sometimes! But the truth is that, somehow, we’re all in a mess — together.
And no, I definitely wasn’t trying to link hair and violence, lol. I DO NOT believe that relaxers drive people to gang activity, LOL!!!! What I was trying to say is that the same sense of conflict and disorganization that leads blacks to destroy THEMSELVES is the same conflict and disorganization that has prevented us from having a stake in our OWN haircare industry.
I agree with Courtney, there are just too many differences to come together as a whole. I think that Black people who are like-minded should stick together. As in, those who are into positivity can help each other. And those who want to kill and steal from each other can go ahead and do that. Some people don’t want help, they just want to self-destruct and drag everyone else down with them. I am interested in strategies by which those who want something better can separate from the bad apples.
THERE IS HOPE. Steve Conley and Devin Robinson are orangizing a ONE WEEK BOYCOTT of non-Black Owned beauty supply stores ..YOU CAN GET INVPLVED
Nov 16..
here are links
http://blackentrepreneurship.wordpress.com/2009/10/06/news-professor-leads-boycott-of-beauty-supply-stores/
http://blackhairproject.com/
Every Monday night we are having a conference call to organize…contact Steve or Devin to get involved….I am going to help get the SF BaY Area on board, with a kick-off screening of my film BLACK HAIR at the Jazz Historical center in SF.
THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN
Aron Ranen
Aisha (and Courtney) I agree. Just because we share some physical characteristics, and we DO suffer racialized discrimination in varying degrees, that doesn’t make us a community. It’s implausible to expect such a diverse people to interact only to uplift each other. Like-minded people with common goals are a community. Which is why I would say some sub-populations of the Natural-community I definitely feel connected to, as opposed to the monolithic “Black Community”
And Aisha, you may already know of this website, but Rev. Lisa Vasquez at Black Women Blow the Trumpet has many essays about the strategies you spoke of.
Maybe the problem is the word “community” which is far too Utopian for a group of people as large as we are (African, American, European, West Indian, Latino, etc). We paint a picture of “our community” that is too unified and unrealistic to live up to and get upset when we can’t seem to “get there”.
I think we ought to reframe the problem as not one solely to do with race, but rather one to do with socioeconomic status and ways to (legitimately) obtain a better socioeconomic status. I’m not mad at the Koreans for a seeing an opportunity where many of us didn’t, but if you look at the businesses that are currently owned by blacks (though they may not say ‘black-owned’ on the storefront) and the things that have been invented by blacks, the educational opportunities in this country, etc., there are too many other opportunities out there and ways for innovative people to get ahead. And the creative among us do get ahead.
I understand your frustration, but I’m not going to ignore a rude, thoughtless comment just because it comes from a natural. I don’t think that just because a person relaxes their child’s hair (although I am against that) means that the child has chemical burns. I don’t think that just b/c we’re natural means that we should be high and mighty and get a pass.
BUT … I do agree that we need to support each other. Right now, for me, it’s really easy to support black hair businesses (I love Oyin Handmade!) because they’re the only ones making all natural hair products targeted to women with natural hair. Oyin Handmade’s products are also really affordable so they’ve got quality + price. Plus, they’re adorable (I love watching/listen to their podcasts). Now if they were overpriced and had a bunch of chemicals in their products, I wouldn’t buy them.
I understand where you are coming from. As a community we are hurting. What is worse that we are getting hit hard by economic hardships but we are not helping each other by in a way “putting money back into our pockets”. I think about this problem all the time. I just see so many Asian owned business’ and I get inspired to be like them. They all support each other’s business’. It is a shame when another race hurts us we are easy to attack them. When we are hurting us we tend to not attack.
Thank you.
Black people are too keen to differentiate ourselves from other black folk. We can say its because of quality, rudeness, hair style, hair type, wrong/right side of town, accent, dancing, skin tone, uppity-ness you name it, we’ll claim it and justify it. But all of it is part of a cycle where we perpetuate the behaviours within our community.
I’m with BGLH on this one, although I’m going to struggle with it, we all need to give it a try, lets not self exclude, eventually, the change will be evident.
MeLove and LolBloggs… that is EXACTLY what I mean.
It is a tough thing to do but I think, at SOME level, whether it’s minor or major, we have to have an eye to our community as we move through life.
And again, I’m not fully comfortable using the word community. I don’t feel that we should all speak and act the same way — nothing like that. Just that we should try to reverse the self-destructive mentality we have as black people.
To clarify, I wasn’t criticizing the lady who spoke on YouTube. I just used that as an example to point out how, in the “supportive” natural hair community, we still divide ourselves needlessly.
While I do agree that the black community does not have to be homogeneous in terms of beliefs. However, I think our major issues are the lack of focus on education, the imprisonment of black men, and the constant devaluing of black women in our own community. We have internalized all the negative things placed on us by the American system. If you notice all the things that we foolishly consider “authentically black” are all the negative stereotypes the mainstream has of us.
I believe Audre Lorde said it best “If I don’t define myself for myself, I will be crushed into other people’s fantasies of me and eaten alive.”
Black People in America have never defined themselves; all we’ve done is internalized what others think of us.
It starts with a change in mindset. If some continue to have the mindset that to achieve unity, we all need to have the same experiences, histories & beliefs… then we won’t get anywhere! Unity should supercede physical differences, to fight poverty, violence, build buisnesses & strong communities. I think it’s ashame that considering the past history of Blacks in America many don’t feel or see the need for unity that is truly lacking within the black race(even if you migrated to this country). We know how to make noise when ‘nigger’ or ‘nappy-headed hoe’ are used by white figures in the medida but we can’t make noise about the social problems occuring in black communities like the black hair care industry where in the same communities, black people can’t & won’t see a dime of profit where they should be. I’m all for cultural diversity & I appreciate it, but that doesn’t mean that I should have a sense of disregard for issues facing my race.
I also get tired and frustrated with the lack of common sense we seem to display across the diaspora, but I am at a loss as to what to do. We can’t blame the lack of unity on our diversity. Other communities (Jews come to mind) are just as diverse and still manage to find common ground among the various groups. I’m West Indian. There are differences in each of the West Indian communities, but we find common ground while still celebrating our differences. Same for Africans/Europeans…. Blacks need to come to a place where we recognize, AND ACCEPT, the differences in all of our varied communities the world over and, through that acceptance, find some common ground to unite us. Until then, we’ll continue to be at the bottom of the social barrel wherever you go. We’ll continue to be taken advantage of and mistreated.
“Black people are the LEAST strategic people in the world: the story of a race that loves to sabotage itself.”
I have a big problem with th above sentence. It is racist. You sure are not talking about me or the many black people i know all around the world. Black people are also the people that face racism the most in the world( external and internalized). I believe in us. We have overcome a lot and we continue to do so. We loose many battles but we win more battles then we loose over the years. We are winning the war. Each time you see something that discourage you think: We just lost a battle but we are winning the war. You do not undo 400 yrs of oppression and its psychological consequences overnight.
I’m very very very proud of black people.