Your photos, your thoughts: Embracing “tuff” Nigerian hair
Hello! My name is Jennifer Chineye Amerachi Udechukwu (what a name!). I am a first year college student at the University of Maryland Eastern Shore and happy and proud to say I am transitioning to natural hair!!!!!!
Since I can remember I have had big thick “nappy” hair as other little girls would call it. It wasn’t silky and long like the other girls and I didn’t understand why, until i heard of the glorious PERM! I begged and pleaded for my mother to perm my hair so I could look like the other girls and she denied my request until she gave up! The first time I got my perm I was around 6. I remember helping my mother wash out the cream from my hair and thinking I went BALD! I couldn’t feel a thing! But when she blow dried it out I fell in love with the long, silky hair that I had. I wasn’t being called names, I could style it, I was happy!
As I grew old so did my hair. It became weak and cut with every stroke of a comb. It wasn’t long like the other girls and besides losing length I was losing self-esteem. I no longer considered myself pretty. I couldn’t match up with the other girls. I continued to perm. The effect of the perm no longer worked on my hair and it was still as puffy as could be!
I wondered why my hair was so strangely thick and unmanageable. Then it came to me. I WAS AFRICAN! I WAS NIGERIAN! My mom told me we had the thickest toughest hair and I hated it!!!
After eighth grade I never wore my hair out again! I stuck to weave, braids, mostly sew-ins creating that artificial socialized American image of “good hair”. After I took out one weave not more than one day would pass, and I would put in another.
It was during my senior year of high school that natural hair first came up. It was in my Sociology class taught by my feminist, locks rocking, beautiful brown skinned teacher! SHE IS AMAZING! lol. The first time she brought up natural hair she was discussing standards women have to meet in today’s world. She simply asked a question (right before the bell rang)
“Why do you feel like you have to perm your hair. Nothing’s wrong with it at all.”
Me-being me-shouted
“My hair’s too NAPPY.”
Ms. Cooper (her name)-
“Nappy!!!??!!! Look at what you have been socialized to think!”
Me-
“I’M NOT! You know what I mean it’s just unmanageable! I’m African. It’s tooooooo thick I can’t do ANYTHING with it.”
Ms. Cooper-
“Look at my dreads. They’re as natural as they could be.”
The bell rang. She simply shook her head and we were dismissed. I didn’t understand why she couldn’t understand what I was saying! I mean if I were ever to unleash my hair in public I was more than sure it would consume the whole school and continue to overtake the rest of the world! I was simply doing it for safety measures. But I had to admit that I loved seeing my hair in its full, puffy glory whenever I took out my sew-ins. I would parade around the house as if I were the Queen of Africa.
So what exactly made me want to transition? It was a little by accident, an amazing accident! I was surfing YouTube in my dorm. I had to take out my weave so I did but being so far away from home (New Jersey) I had no one to do my hair! It would be the first time I wore my REAL HAIR out to school in 4 YEARS! I needed a style and quick!
I came across a video of a bantu knot out. It was beautiful curls I thought black girls couldn’t achieve. I was in awe!! I looked up more videos and fell in love with all the different types and textures of natural hair.
Why should we have to strip away God’s gift just to fit into America’s vision of beauty when we are already blessed and born with our own. My hair wasn’t nappy and unmanageable, it was Big and Beautiful. After all these years I had forgotten what my actual, real, unpermed hair looked like. I hated something that represented my culture, my roots. I threw it away and I wanted it back!
I am choosing to be me! As strong of a person inside as the “toughness” of my own hair outside. I’m going to be me now. The way God made me, NO chemicals added.
Thanks for making my journey easier!
Jennifer Chineye Amerachi Udechukwu
a.k.a
TufferThanNigerianHair
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Post in the BGLH forum today! http://bglhonline.com/forum/
I am half nigerian and half african american (if that makes any sense) My full name is Ehimwenma Ayoko Aimiuwu, dont ask about the middle name i have no idea where it came from.
For years my step mom would always, to this day make fun of my nigerian hair, and I took that and hid my hair under weaves from the fifth grade all the way until senior year.
But now I embraced this hair and its still full and thick after all the tortured years, and my step moms hair is literally falling out. And now she asking me for tips on her hair.
I am so proud to see Nigerian women embrace their natural hair
Jennifer Chineye (beautiful middle name btw), I’m so sorry you went through that experience with your hair as a little girl because from the looks of your picture your hair ROCKS! It’s beautiful, strong and it looks healthy. I’m glad you decided to wear your hair natural and I hope you continue to walk on campus with your head held high like “what my hair is HOTT.”
Beautiful. I’m so happy that you had a teacher who inspired you.
Btw, lovin’ your hair!
i love your style and ur hair
Glad to hear this! I’m Nigerian-American, and my cousins were like “Oh, your hair is so soft! But mine is hard…” Please. These people haven’t seen their natural hair in ages. With good care, anyone’s hair can be soft, moisturized and healthy. And we first-generationers are not exempt in the least.
We need more black teachers like this in schools showing our children the light. I had ONE black teacher in 12th grade. We need more inspiration and we need them to teach our children about US.
Thank you guys so much!!!!!
I love my hair now and its also because of beautiful people like you!!!!
God Bless you Al
Jennifer C.A Udechukwu
I hate how Nigerians respond to their type of hair. I’m a Nigerian-American and my dad still doesn’t like my hair. Neither does my mum really. Thank god there are websites for natural haired black women or I would have lost my mind. LOL
@FurryCoconut…i feel u. My mom and aunt still think that me wearing my natural hair is just a phase…and it’s going on 5 years next month! It’s not a phase…goodness gracious : )
Hey my Naija sister! I’m Nigerian myself; my name: Adedolapo. I was born in Ibadan and I came with my family to the states when I was 5 years old, but I’ve been back several times and I have kept my Nigerian ties.
Dear, I COMPLETELY understand your struggle with your hair, and my own story closely parallels yours. I feel that being black is hard enough with the standards of beauty imposed on us, but I sincerely believe that being African comes with an even greater burden. LOL, I could never say I was part cherokee, italian, french, english, german, et cetera, et cetera (btw, I love diversity and multi-faceted people in all areas of life) all of which was supposed to increase the beauty of the girls who said it. All I could say was that I was Nigerian, and my dark skin and “nappy” hair was testament to it. Unfortunately, it took me a long time as well to really start to regard myself as a beautiful individual, time that I believe could have been spent doing more positive things.
I see my natural hair as my crown, as a part of me that distinguishes me from the rest, as an extension of how I define myself. I am so very happy to read your story and I want to tell you that you are not alone. I bet you were a beautiful individual before you even considered going natural, but now you’ll see that you’ll grow even more as a person now that you have accepted a part of yourself. I know I certainly did.
DaliSalvadorAde–Hey lol ive only visted africa once n i actally haad to live their for a year! my whole family is their and i miss them soo! )= this summer my famliy is planning on goin back up their again this summer i cant wait!!! Thank u so much for ur inpireing,incourageing worlds!
I also belive we need more teacher like mines she was awsome!
Thanks again guys! (=
I spent some time living in South Africa (SA) a couple of years ago. It was funny how a lot of people didn’t think Beyonce or Rihanna were black because of their “straight” hair and lighter complexions. I was wearing my hair in microbraids at the time, so when I showed people pictures of my hair when I had it pressed, they assumed I wasn’t black or of some mixture. However, what’s funny is a lot of South African women have relaxed hair. So, it’s not like they’re unaware of the chemical straighteners. I think a lot of it has to do with the quality of weaves we have over here. People in SA used to always compliment the condition of my “fiber” (human hair weave) that I used for my micros. I guess the weaves American women use can be quite deceiving to the foreign eye.
Oops the comment above was meant for the post after this one.
all my life i’ve been told i have thick hair. yesterday while getting my hair braided, the stylist kept saying, “your hair is so short but there’s so much of it–it’s so thick and there’s so much of it!” although i felt bad for both of us for sitting there so long, i felt like it was the best compliment in the world, to have thick hair
Revolution girl, same here! All my life I was told I had thick hair. So it was never truly about texture with me. I don’t care what texture I have as long as it’s THICK! lol
Jennifer this was so interesting to read
I’m just like you, I BEGGED my mom to relax my hair and she told me “When you turn 7.” I couldn’t wait so from 7-21 yrs of age I had a relaxer. I’m 22 now and just did my BC in October. I’m so glad your embracing your beautiful, thick Nigerian hair! Can wait to see the end result. Keep us posted:-)
Thanks! I will!
OMG I loved reading this piece!!!! Thank you soooo much for sharing.
OMG! Your story sounds so similar to mine. I’m a first generation American, as well. My family came from Cameroon (hey, neighbor! lol). I’ve always had a relaxer since I was probably about 5 because my hair was so thick and my mom found it too hard to manage. I’ve never had too much of a problem with it but I’ve never been 100% satisfied with the length and health of my hair. Whenever I go for a couple months without a relaxer, I always relish in the feel of my new growth and the texture of my natural hair and it’s natural curl pattern. Right now, I am 7 months post relaxer and I finally made the decision to go natural and just discovered this website today! My mom and few of my friends looked at me like I was crazy for trying it but I will not be deterred! I’m so excited about my new journey and reading things like this just builds my confidence and resolve to really do this.
Hey back at ya! And COool!HAppy i could help! lolmy moms natural at the moment yesturday she told me my hair grew alot n i should perm it lol !mi was like ” Mommy im not perming my hair i told u that!” lol she jus said ok
I see that your Igbo.represent!! OF course its easier to want to conform to society and not be the odd one out. Trust me I know African hair is alot of work. But with paitence and right products your hair will be fine. It brings joy for me to see other young women embracing their natural side and not succumbing to the “european Look”.I been natural for 3 years and even though doing my hair is annoying at times I still take pride in it. I love my african culture and wouldnt have it any other way. PS what products do you use for your? if anyone know my hair si extremely dry.. it wil be helpful.. Peace & blessings
Wow! I’m nigerian too and let me say I know what you mean by having unmanagble hair. I’ve been debating back and forth if I want to chop off my hair and start fresh. I mean I haven’t permed my hair in almost a year and after seeing the movie Good Hair I never want to perm it again. I really wish I had the guts to do it. I’m an RA at my school and one of my admins and I were talking about going natural and she told me now is the best time before I go into the really world and get a real job whereas some jobs might not embrace the whole natural hair. I’m 20 years old and haven’t seen my NATURAL hair for about 11 years or so. I just usemy weaves.
Hey Agbogo!! lol thanks! i use olive oil hair lotion,africans best oil, and shea butter, on my roots n egdes n it leave my hair soft n stuff for a while. hope that helps!(=
Hi Wande! ONe year of trasitioning? THAT IS GREAT!!!!i plan on going that long and i agree with ur admin. the best ime is now! one of my friends JUST big chopd now! n she didnt have a care in the world so much confidence!!! go ahead n do for it!
Yeah just about a year! After some thought I’m going go for the BC some time this May after I’m done with school for summer vacation.
Cool yay! wat school do u go to, if u dont mind if i ask?
no i dont mind…. Saint Peter’s College
Coool in my home town New Jersey stand up! lol (:
Chineye, congrats on your decision to go natural! I’m glad you are embracing your hair and enjoying it in it’s thick, and beautiful glory :} I am Nigerian-American as well and I just want to point out that there is no such thing as ‘Nigerian’ hair. I haven’t seen one common characteristic in Nigerian natural hair, that I haven’t seen in other types of natural hair. It can be thick, thin, coarse, fine, cottony, coily, even curly. There is also the misconception that our hair will be coarser than usual by virtue of us being mono-ethnic (one ethnicity), but there are many multi-ethnic people with coarse, sometimes coarser hair (i.e. Lenny Kravitz). I point out the misconception because it is the reason many Nigerian-American women choose not to go natural. All natural women, Nigerian, or African-American have had the misconception that their hair is coarse and unmanageable, which is why they continued relaxing. I think our ideas about ‘Nigerian’ hair were just our culture’s form of that belief. I’m glad you’ve taken the leap despite it.
I really enjoyed reading this. I’m nearly five months past relaxer, and my mom is really just shaking her head at me right now because I’m considering going natural. She has been relaxing my hair since I was five, my sister’s since she was four. The thing is, I don’t think my mother has ever known how to deal with hair. She used to relax over relaxed hair or use the formula too strong for my fine hair (she assumed my hair was as thick and “coarse” as her own and my sister’s, which was really thick), and my hair was always in a state of breakage. I don’t remember a time when my hair was all one length or I didn’t have bald spots, lol. Then came the Wave Nouveau when I was fifteen; I had it for nearly three years. My hair actually grew for a while but stopped. Finally, I stopped and let my hair grow out. The natural roots were beginning to show and I didn’t hate them at all.
But then some of my friends started making comments. A friend of mine, who is African American but has Native American ancestry, asked me why I didn’t perm my hair. My friend, who is biracial (black and white), countered that with “Why don’t you cut off the processed ends and go natural?” (like she is) The first friend shook her head and said, “Her hair isn’t like yours. You can’t run a comb through that.”
She persuaded me to relax the hair, and in August, after a year of not putting anything in my hair (I guess you could call that my first transition episode), she put the relaxer in. She looked at the relaxer kit and decided to leave it in for the maximum time of 15 to 18 minutes for my coarse hair, then even afterward she left it in for ten more minutes because apparently she had never seen hair like mine in her life. What was wrong with it? Did I not put the right nutrients in it? Did I use shampoo instead of conditioner? Why couldn’t she run a comb through it even when wet? (Mind you, she used a fine-tooth.) Finally, she relaxed it and flat-ironed it into submission. For two weeks, I was the girl with the hair. But then that hair started breaking off, and I had more bald spots even than when my mom had done her Super Relaxer formula perms on my head.
So I did what I had to do. I did my research and found out that textures like mine are *not* a result of lack of “hair nutrients.” It’s just that–a hair texture. From what I’ve seen, a rather cool one at that.
I guess the point of my life story is that no one has ever accepted my hair as it grows from my head. Not my mother, who flat irons her relaxed hair religiously even though the breakage is obvious–not my friends, who think that my texture results from “lack of nutrients,” not from anyone. Yet I am doing this crazy thing because I feel I need to liberate myself from what everyone else thinks. That’s why I’m so psyched to read about others like me, Nigerian-Americans who have struggled with having the “worst” hair type, who can’t be natural because we don’t have Native American or European blood, who have been called names like “slave” (yes, I was haha) because of our kink pattern. I am so determined to become natural because it’s like reclaiming a part of myself. I anticipate hardships and not knowing what I’m doing for a while (believe it or not, I have not really started doing my own hair until this year), but everytime I feel discouraged, I look at pictures, read stories of transformation, and look at hair care tips for the transitioner. I can’t wait until I finally let the processed ends go. I can’t wait until I can have a cool hairstyle like the one in that picture.
Then when people ask me why my hair is “like that,” I can say it’s that swagger only girls with “Nigerian hair” can have.
I totally understand your situation. I am Nigerian-American. I didn’t have my first perm until I was 15. My hair was always full, thick, and long. I hated getting my hair braided, so my mother allowed me to perm it. But when I grew up and started doing my own research I fell in love with my hair all over again. It’s hard to deal with the degradation Euro-society has set as being “good-hair”, when I learned my has I realized that blacks are the only race that has the ability to be universal with my our. I have been back to Nigeria in the last year and trust me there are a lot of natural women still walking around embracing there hair. My grandmother is 88 years old never once has she permed her hair, but it is soft as butter and its down to the back of her knees. Kinky hair has always been categorized as being unfit, not appealing, and unmanageable. Like a lot of the women in the post says we are mostly first generation Americans our culture. We need to educate future and even past generations to help break this stereotyping of us.
hello! i just read all your comments and i must say i am happy about them. @S dear how on earth can they call you a slave are they normal or what? well, i am a Nigerian not Nigerian American but Nigerian-born and raised. my full name is nkechi lynda ehinome ebite. as for me relaxing of hair came natural had nothing to do with confirming. i’ve been natural since i was eight due to school rules…i had to cut my hair in school and also when it become okay to grow out my hair in senior secondary(its like senior high), my mother told me it’ll be better for me to still cut my hair. my first perm was at eight and five months after that perm, i cut of my whole hair. then my second and longest running perm and touch ups was from july 2005 to november 2008. though i didn’t do a big chop. my relaxed hair has broken off on its own and i have an almost or maybe shoulder length natural hair. though i’ve never had a problem with being natural maybe its because i’d always being without knowing, the truth is that i do have a very tough hair but sensitive scalp. I’d used almost every relaxer I’d been advised to use and forget about texturizers, they don’t have any effect on my hair. the only thing most of the relaxers did was to texturize my hair and then burn my scalp. truth be told i think i am the only one i know who’s hair is very stubborn to relaxers. even heat does a better job though it has to be extra extra hot. being natural for me is great. why? well, i now know what to do with my hair and it has relieved me of the stress of being afraid of the rain, or alopecia from tight braids and extensions and most of all to be proud of carrying my own hair on my scalp about which not a lot of Nigerian women do.
OMG srry i havent check it n a while but my nigeiran american gorl S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg i feel u sooo much i almost cried reading ur story hun!!!!!!!!!! im so happy you startd ur transtion again dispite of wat ur friends and fam saw! i was sooo happy to read this! i think im about four or 5 moths now lol . BE strong!!!!!!!!!! lol jenny_pnts@yahoo.com hit me up anythme u want we be one this journy together! send pics all that good stuff (=
kechy ur not the only one i wish i would have gone natral soon. but yea lke u me permoing me hair was basically pointless smh lol it did nothin i alway “had” to flat iron it the got tired of that n stuck to weave for four years
Can we please get this quote on a t-shirt?:”…if I were ever to unleash my hair in public I was more than sure it would consume the whole school and continue to overtake the rest of the world!” I should hope so, sis. I should hope so.
I like that idea (=
Ohh yea Guess what!! i BC’d!!!!!