“Evil Hot Comb” by Leila Noelliste… Yes folks. This is original art I created with the help of Microsoft Paintbrush…

We’ve all been there.

You’re sitting in that chair, and that unmistakable smell of chemically burnt hair wafts to your nose. Your stomach sinks as you realize that your hair will never be the same again — if you even have hair after you get up. Every drag of the hot comb through your already limp strands exponentially increases your feeling of dread.

I’ve had my share of salon horror stories. From my wacky golden-died texturizer when I was 16 (I was going for the Beyonce-in-Goldmember look) to my hairline being yanked out courtesy of extra-tight cornrows, I ‘ve been there. It’s the feeling of loss followed by extreme anger and confusion that you actually have to PAY somebody to f up your hair situation.

This post is in no way to demonize all salons! There are some great ones out there with talented staff (check out our Salon Page for a sampling). But for now I just want to hear the bad and the ugly from your time in the black leather (or pleather) salon chair…

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“My hair was in a bantu-knot out that had been stretched via the blowdryer only because I decided to cowash about two hours before prom (BAD IDEA) and didn’t have to time to do my usual banding method. It turned out better than I thought, and I added some hair jewels to snazz things up.” ~Raquel

I thought these photos were too cute I had to do an interview…

BGLH: How old are you now?
Raquel: I’m 18 now – woo hoo!! My birthday was last month.

BGLH: How was your prom?!
Raquel: Prom was THE BOMB! … I had LOTS of fun dancing (with any and everyone, lol), and felt sorry for some of my friends who were concerned about sweating out their hairstyles. The bantu knot-out turned into a shrunken fro, but I didn’t mind. Not to get corny, but being natural really impacts so many random areas of your life. I can’t imagine standing on the wall the whole night to preserve a straight ‘do – life is way too short!!

BGLH: How long have you been natural?
Raquel: Technically, I’ve been natural my entire life… but I got into middle school, got my first press for 8th grade graduation, and the rest is history. I fell into a straight hair trap – I mean, I literally felt trapped and was very scared of seeing my naps. I pretty much flat-ironed EVERY SINGLE DAY, from 8th grade till the summer before junior year. It was breaking off, too, and stayed a little below shoulder length.

Then I joined the cross-country running team, found Nappturality.com and fotki.com, and decided that this was madness. I started to slowly trim off all the heat-damaged hair – I think I got the last of it last winter, so now I have a brand new head of hair.

BGLH: Do you know where you’re going to college?
Raquel: Yes. I’ll be studying English and Secondary Education. I want to be a high school English teacher.

BGLH: Aahhh, the memories. I rocked a tragic coil out to my prom… and an equally tragic self-designed baby blue, satin mermaid pants-dress. (Don’t ask.) But you know what? I was feelin’ myself, and my 16-year-old self thought I was hot. I guess that’s all that counts

What are your prom hair memories?

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“Apparently the contest is not as based on votes as it seemed. The top 10 is posted and people who had little to no votes yesterday are in it. I guess the voting was just for public participation???
Anyway, ladies thanks for the support, you did a great job! We had 7,000 votes yesterday and Taj has definitely been getting the exposure he deserves. Don’t worry it’s not over ”

Don’t worry Taj, Diddy hasn’t really helped anyone’s career since Biggie. (Just watch a few seasons of “Making the Band” and ponder to yourself where all those people are now…) But in all seriousness, all the best Taj! We know you’ll be awesome!

#2 Also, I got quite the interesting comment the other day, on one of my very first sunday retrospectives where I pondered how to explain my blog to people who aren’t black.

“Hi everyone! I love this blog and all the comments are honest and thought-provoking. Keep it up! I know this is after-the-fact, but just for the record: I am Latina, and I have nappy hair. Latinos are very racially diverse and a lot of us are black or mixed, so please don’t generalize. Thank you!”

That is so true! Any other Latinas out there wanna jump in?

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and speaking of workplace hair, i’ve been thinking about something…
so, i have a ‘natural haired professional’ wishlist that consists of a.) a truly non-bogus natural hair stylist, b.) more natural hair scientists, c.) michelle obama (or the next black female president/first lady)… and now i’ve added a 4th one — a natural hair consultant.

let me explain.

so, it is generally known when straight hair looks bogus.
exhibit a:

exhibit b:

exhibit c:

but there isn’t a general knowledge of when natural hair (or black hair generally) is bogus, and when it isn’t

for example, some employers can’t tell the difference between this:

and this:

hell, they might even be more willing to accept this, just cuz the shit looks familiar:

i remember when carol mosley-braun (first black female U.S. senator) wore cornrows on the senate floor, and her colleagues said it was a sign of disrespect for her job. what?! that’s why we need a consultant. someone to travel from workplace to workplace to educate people on which natural work styles are kosher, and which aren’t.

what do you think? could you do with a natural hair consultant at your job? (i know i could!)

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your spritz concoction sounds fine. except i would take out the castor oil, since it’s better at sealing hair. i’ve heard really good things about afro detangler, so that’s great that it’s in there.

ok now let ‘er rip ladies… what’s in your spritz bottle?!

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so, in another BGLH first… our friday afternoon fun is courtesy of two readers

natural black women have no choice but to be deliberate and careful with their hair. we do painstaking research (which, i think, is kinda unique to us as a group) and i think sometimes we take for granted all the knowledge we collect.
but check this: many of the things we’re learning are good for women of all colors.
khyla (recently profiled) and nicole sent me a link to this npr (national public radio) article, which says that shampooing everyday is actually not good for anybody because it dries out the hair’s natural oils.
the article also highlights a woman (i’m presuming she is white/her hair is naturally straight) who washes her hair twice a week with, get this, BAKING SODA AND VINEGAR (sound familiar?!?!)
so it would seem that natural black women are somewhat ahead of the curve on universally healthy hair practices yay!
here’s the link to the piece… but after you read it, definitely come back over here to comment

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….confession: that picture has NOTHING to do with what i’m about to talk about, but it fulfills the requirement that this friday afternoon post contain a “fun” element… so, here we go…

“…we are beckoned to bridge the growing gap between black intelligentsia and those who feel the effects of black-on-black violence, higher levels of school dropout rates and dangerous levels of inadequate health conditions.

Over the past several decades, the widening of socioeconomic diversity within the black community has not built a bridge for an adequate flow of education, mentorship, community reinvestment and black solidarity.” — Lenny McAllister on the state of blacks in America

“I rock rough and stuff with my Afro Puffs” — rapper The Lady of Rage in her hit single “Afro Puffs”, 1994

so, i’ve noticed that the majority of women on fotki, particularly those who are very successful with their hair, are college educated, white collar professionals, college students, and women from other countries.

and i wonder why i don’t see more women who are not white collar professionals, have high school diplomas/GEDs, and are not from other countries.

which in turn makes me wonder: if relaxer use will, in fact, decrease sharply in the next several years, will relaxer companies then concentrate their efforts on lower-income black communities to keep business going?

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but when i got there — in my cardigan-ed ‘teacher fit’ with a stack of newspapers in hand — i instantly wanted to change my presentation from ‘classified ads in newspapers’ to ‘please, i’m begging you, don’t start relaxing when you hit 13.’

all the black girls in the class had these healthy, long twists or plaits brushing their shoulders or hanging down their backs. the ish looked all moisturized and what not.

i thought to myself, “how do we convince these girls that their dope hair isn’t good enough?!” and “hmmm… i wonder if we could talk about regimens when this presentation is over…”

#2
lina hit the nail on the head in her ‘rock solid regimen’ interview…
“…one thing that I hope to see in the future are more salons that truly and genuinely cater to caring for and improving upon the beauty of natural hair. Right now finding a stylist that is authentic about natural haircare and open to learning about natural haircare for each individual client is really rare. Natural haircare is not a cookie-cutter cosmetology unit that is taught in beauty school, so experience varies widely…” ~lina

damn right it’s rare! i don’t care if the hair dresser is black — she might as well be fuschia for how little she knows about my hair. one of my top fears — up there with heights and cockroaches — is a black hairdresser’s chair. i’ve been burned (literally!) too many times and now have black-stylist-a-phobia, as well as nightmares about “the evil hot comb.”

“the evil hot comb”

i am waiting for one of you to take all this knowledge we exchange on the natural hair blogs/forums/websites, and start a bomb natural hair salon. best believe i will be first in line at the grand opening. hell, i will pitch a tent outside the night before to be first in line for the grand opening… maybe such a salon exists and i just don’t know about… does it?

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i have to say, though, that i’m careful in who i select to interview, because i want to find black women who have healthy, beautiful hair, strong regimens and good advice. but, i don’t want it to mean that no one else has the chance to express themselves on BGLH. i know that many of you (like claudia… check her comment on this post) have amazing hair stories that i just don’t know about. and you don’t just have to write ‘hair stories’, you can write about anything related to black women’s hair. i also recently found that we have people of other races following the blog… your voice/thoughts are welcome too.

so, although the views of those who submit photos and article/essays aren’t necessarily mine, i do think it’s important to put them out there for discussion. if you want your literature or photos published on fridays, email them to contro_versial@hotmail.com … and remember that the questions from a newbie section is available to any new natural…

a blogger submitted these lovely photos of her hair…

blogger ariel submitted this article…
“Its Ariel, I just read your most recent blog to britt, and totally felt her on it, it sounded just like me in high school.
I just wrote a blog about my ideas on natural hair, well its more like a rant i don’t know if you were interested in reading it and hopefully it will help britt out too. I wanted to share this with women who understood.

Today I was on the subway with a Loving Roomie and I was people watching…of course. I saw this girl who had relaxed her hair. I have a question…

Why do we perm our hair?

I know that there are a lot of shitty, sell out answers but I think that only ONE is true.

We don’t know.
at all.

Ask any black woman, and this will be your answer….

“Well……..its because (insert stutter hear)…our natural hair…um…kinky…kitchen….cannot compute…overload(explode.)

No one knows.

The most common answer you’ll get is, “I can’t deal with my nappy hair” Yes you can, you just don’t want to. I’ll understand if you just told the truth, “I dont think its the norm, and I won’t be excepted.” Who wants to be normal anymore? How boring. If you don’t “deal” with it, respect and appreciate it, then who will?
NO ONE.

I don’t know about you, but I love “dealing with my hair”

“Deal” with your child’s hair. Don’t put chemicals in your 5 year old child’s head. That’s too young to be putting harmful detergents in their heads. Let them have a choice. EVERY Black woman I have talked to has said, and I quote, “When i was younger, my hair used to come down to here (puts hand conveniently under boob-area) Then my mama put a perm in it and it all feel out. That outta tell you something. Lucky me I didn’t get a perm till I was 12, doesn’t make it ANY better.

Don’t you know as soon as your hair is damaged by a perm you HAVE to keep putting it in. We all know that transition moment, when you hair is in rehab, and it’s WITHDRAWING like a mother? That because is it addicted to the monthly, yearly or daily fix. Yum, drugs.

Sure, I wish that I had straight tresses so that I can wear a cute cropped haircut, but a relaxer won’t do it for me. It won’t look the same without loads of flat irons and pressing combs and a world of disappointment because my hair won’t move, it looks like artificially shiny hair that feels like hay.

Here’s another thing, You don’t see a “normal” white girl going through so much crap, so why should I?

Its time for us to stop trying to be something we aren’t, putting down something that is US. We need to understand that we are not white, and no chemical is going to change that. You see what it did to Micheal.

So on to the funny I made.

I looked at this girls head and I thought, “Why limit yourself to ONE style, when our natural hair is satisfyingly versatile and healthy. And then the relaxed ladies, when they want something different, braid their chemically fried hair while its wet and end up with a greasy braid out…and they are happy with that?

I’m not trying to be militant or anything, I just want an explanation. I love straight hair as much as the next girl, but not at the expense of my health and confidence.But hey, if all that is appealing to you keep on relaxing, as long as you try your best to take care of it, and just try and love it a little more. Its more then just hair, its who you are. Also, don’t put down the women who have accepted reality, and the OTHER idea of beauty.”

***
aggravations? affirmations? agree or disagree? all thoughts are welcome…

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