I am from Nigeria. I am currently an undergraduate student at an Ivy League university.

On going natural…
I stopped relaxing my hair in May 2008. I transitioned using extensions (braids and weaves) until February 2009. I went to the barber’s to trim my relaxed ends off in February, but he went overboard and cut most of it off, leaving an inch. I was a little unhappy, but I knew my relaxed ends were unhealthy, so I took it in my stride.

I stopped relaxing my hair because I did not know how to take care of my relaxed hair. Before I came to America, I lived in Europe for 2 years. In this time, my hair became severely damaged from scalp burns, heat from flat irons and hairdryers, the cold weather, and the excessive grease I applied to my hair, thinking it would be protected from the cold this way. I decided to stop relaxing my hair because this system of ‘hair care’ was not working.

I wanted the freedom to be able to jump in the shower that my friend Julie had. Adopted by a white mother, her hair had never been straightened. It was full and beautiful. She could jump into the shower without a shower cap. She also did not spend money on extensions or relaxers, and was able to use the holidays where I sometimes stayed to get braids done to travel and explore Europe. I also envied the European girls who could swim and shower anytime they wanted. It was at that point that I realized that chemical straighteners were a choice, not a necessity. I realized that I was subjecting myself to self-imposed restrictions that made my life as a student unnecessarily difficult.

A one-word description of the transformation…
Liberating… My hair is stronger and healthier than ever- it is growing at its normal rate, sheds hair daily at its normal rate and also does not break.

A guy once told me, ‘Why don’t you relax your hair and bleach it blonde like Amber Rose?’
Another guy pointed to my Jamaican friend’s curly hair and said, ‘I wish your hair was like this.’
My dad said, ‘The weave looks better than your real hair.’
My aunty said, ‘Why don’t you texturize it so it can be nice and curly, so that you can comb it.’
My mom said, ‘I still look at you everyday and cannot believe this is my daughter.’
My dentist said, ‘Why don’t you cut it short so it can be neat?’

Although my hair is healthier and thicker than most people I know, it is not straight, and so I still receive comments like this quite often, especially when I am in Nigeria. When I made the decision to stop perming my hair, I held the naïve assumption that it would not be questioned. I didn’t know that most black people (Nigerians, Caribbean, Africans and Black Americans) would think I was either highly religious, ugly, a musician or model, lower class or ‘Rasta’ (Rastafarian). As I am now aware of these stereotypes, I do not hold grudges against these people, I only wish that natural hair would become equal and ‘normal’ to the way relaxed hair is viewed within the black community. How are we going to do this? I don’t know, but I hope I inspire people every time they see me looking fly, and by my ‘hairstory’ published here today, just as BGLH inspires me.

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I put the braids back in for my next journey to Europe which would allow me some versatility and then see what was happening in about 6 months. So I’ve been here in Berlin for exactly 3 months now and just couldn’t stand it any longer. I felt like my hair was still suffering in the braids because it wasn’t being washed adequately or deep conditioned ever ( because the micros would’ve come out). So after visiting your website several times, I was inspired to began the labor of love that so many smart and beautiful women of color have already embarked upon. I took all the micros out and looked at myself in the mirror, a bit uncomfortable with what I saw but decided I would deal with and love me (regardless of what my hair was doing..lol).

Are there any tips you would recommend as far as a daily night time routine? I just have no clue what to do with my hair at night..A good friend of mine braids it every night and then takes the braids out in the morning for curly fullness but I didn’t know if that’s what most natural girls do.

J’s response:
Hi Chandra! Thank you for following BGLH. I’m glad you’ve been inspired to stick with the decision to go natural! I am honored to be 1/3 of this movement that is BGLH! How cool that you moved to Germany to make your dreams come true! All the best to you!

Now to your question! Most of you already know I’m a proponent of low manipulation so I don’t braid or twist my hair every night. I try to do protective styles that last throughout the week refreshing at night only if necessary. Here’s what I do before bed:

1) spritz my ends and scalp (a nice scalp massage on occasion)
2) add moisturizer to ends (refresh braids/twists if necessary)
3) seal ends with castor oil
4) put on my satin cap then it’s beddie-bye time!

I like to call my nightly ritual “SMSP“: Spritz Moisturize Seal Protect!
(you like that right-lol)

Spritz
The spritz is important because it hydrates the hair. For this I like to use floral waters, chamomile or sandalwood. I use floral waters so I don’t have to worry about contaminants and chlorine in tap water (you can use filtered water if you wish). I keep the floral waters refrigerated and add to a spray bottle as needed. Besides smelling wonderful, my scalp feels so refreshed afterward! It’s my daily aromatherapy Sometimes I mix the waters with panthenol (an idea suggested by Chicoro). If my hair is craving protein, I use my Aphogee Pro-Vitamin Leave-In Conditioner. You can use protein to help revitalize the hair, but unfortunately damaged hair must eventually be cut out. Click here for some ideas for a daily spritz ideas previously featured on BGLH!

Moisturize
Next is the moisturizer. I like to use a creamy water-based moisturizer (dr. bronner’s magic organic lotion). I love how it seeps into my thick hair. It also softens the hair and makes it easier to detangle. When refreshing twists or braids, you can use a wide-tooth comb or detangle with your fingers.

Seal
For the sealant, your options aren’t limited to just castor oil. Many naturals love coconut oil or hair butters like shea for sealing, especially for the shine that they impart not to mention the nutrient content.

Protect
Pin the hair up and sleep on a satin pillowcase or use a satin cap.

As you can see, my nightly routine is really simple making it easy to follow. Thanks for your submission Chandra! I thought your “before and after” pictures were especially great in light of the recent “then and now” posts (one of my favorite here at BGLH by the way – great submissions ladies!). Cute cute cute!

chandra then

chandra now!
So now it’s your turn! Natural ladies give up the goods!
What’s your nightly regimen?
~j~

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