I am from Nigeria. I am currently an undergraduate student at an Ivy League university.

On going natural…
I stopped relaxing my hair in May 2008. I transitioned using extensions (braids and weaves) until February 2009. I went to the barber’s to trim my relaxed ends off in February, but he went overboard and cut most of it off, leaving an inch. I was a little unhappy, but I knew my relaxed ends were unhealthy, so I took it in my stride.

I stopped relaxing my hair because I did not know how to take care of my relaxed hair. Before I came to America, I lived in Europe for 2 years. In this time, my hair became severely damaged from scalp burns, heat from flat irons and hairdryers, the cold weather, and the excessive grease I applied to my hair, thinking it would be protected from the cold this way. I decided to stop relaxing my hair because this system of ‘hair care’ was not working.

I wanted the freedom to be able to jump in the shower that my friend Julie had. Adopted by a white mother, her hair had never been straightened. It was full and beautiful. She could jump into the shower without a shower cap. She also did not spend money on extensions or relaxers, and was able to use the holidays where I sometimes stayed to get braids done to travel and explore Europe. I also envied the European girls who could swim and shower anytime they wanted. It was at that point that I realized that chemical straighteners were a choice, not a necessity. I realized that I was subjecting myself to self-imposed restrictions that made my life as a student unnecessarily difficult.

A one-word description of the transformation…
Liberating… My hair is stronger and healthier than ever- it is growing at its normal rate, sheds hair daily at its normal rate and also does not break.

A guy once told me, ‘Why don’t you relax your hair and bleach it blonde like Amber Rose?’
Another guy pointed to my Jamaican friend’s curly hair and said, ‘I wish your hair was like this.’
My dad said, ‘The weave looks better than your real hair.’
My aunty said, ‘Why don’t you texturize it so it can be nice and curly, so that you can comb it.’
My mom said, ‘I still look at you everyday and cannot believe this is my daughter.’
My dentist said, ‘Why don’t you cut it short so it can be neat?’

Although my hair is healthier and thicker than most people I know, it is not straight, and so I still receive comments like this quite often, especially when I am in Nigeria. When I made the decision to stop perming my hair, I held the naïve assumption that it would not be questioned. I didn’t know that most black people (Nigerians, Caribbean, Africans and Black Americans) would think I was either highly religious, ugly, a musician or model, lower class or ‘Rasta’ (Rastafarian). As I am now aware of these stereotypes, I do not hold grudges against these people, I only wish that natural hair would become equal and ‘normal’ to the way relaxed hair is viewed within the black community. How are we going to do this? I don’t know, but I hope I inspire people every time they see me looking fly, and by my ‘hairstory’ published here today, just as BGLH inspires me.

***
BGLH now has a forum! Check it out HERE.

Tweet This Post